Real friends are far and few. We might not even get to meet them very often. Social friends are acquaintances we meet socially through our spouse, work or kids. We ‘Friend’ them on Facebook, follow them on social media and eventually call them friends. We spend more time with social friends and understanding them will save us some heartache. Decoding friendships is the hardest thing. Two people might love a common friend but strangely not like each other.
You can’t stay ‘socially distant’ for life so let’s understand them a little better-
1. The Likeable– They enter your life like a cool breeze. They make an effort to talk to you and get to know you better. Often the oldest member in the group of friends. They welcome and nurture and help you make friends. They are confident, well balanced and won’t be caught doing anything to grab attention. Warm, easy going and helpful, they are like sunshine.
2. The Sugar babies– Sweeter than Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate hiding their nuttiness inside they are too good to be true. You feel great when you meet them initially but soon realize they are not healthy for you. They laugh the loudest and try the hardest to please everyone. They have insane need to be liked and they go all out. They observe and stick to the most popular person in the group. Highly competitive and easily hurt, they will be in front of all the pics in a group party. They will send the most loving over the top messages and show how generous and loving they are. They talk about the past to emphasize their long association with you. They really want to be liked.
3. The elite and poised– They socialize mindfully. They make appearances only on relevant events and maintain a distance. They will stay away from frivolous parties and wish to be seen in the right places. Their silence is often misconstrued as intelligence. They are warm, patronizing and listen to you with full attention, offer heartfelt emotional support and divulge absolutely nothing about their lives. They will wish or reply to only important messages in the group. They don’t seek friendships. They will assess you and see if you are worthy of being invited to their home or not. They will reciprocate but you always have to make the first move.
4. The cool and confused– Simple at heart sometimes with an ultra-modern exterior. They follow trends and overenthusiastic. They like the easy-going but hang out with the elite and cool. They are dealing with issues of their own but try to look cool. Armed with a good heart and good intentions but often lost. They want to be more in life but they follow what their friends are doing. They feel secure and safe with friends and try to look and act like them. They often ask for favors and call and stay in touch to maintain relationships with all.
5. The minding their business-They don’t sweat the small stuff. They socialize, make friends easily, invite you over without hesitation, check up on you without assessing if you are cool or not. They are content and happy with their life and can easily compartmentalize relationships and rise above the bullshit. They will often not know the current gossip and they simply don’t care.
6. Thecreativemaniacs– These are the people who carry their hearts on their sleeve. They are oversensitive, caring and invisible in person. In real life they struggle to make their voice heard because they are not flamboyant and hate the spotlight. They find a creative outlet to express because they have a lot to say and want to be heard. They are social media savvy. They want to post the rainbow picture and talk about their feelings. You won’t find them on the dance floor at the party right away but they will not hesitate to share their opinion. Their being vocal or creative might come as a surprise to a few initially but it comes naturally to them. They seek deep conversations and get attached to people easily. They seek friendships of the soul.
7. The gossip mongers- They are people who thrive on information. They spend a lot of time analysing, assessing and evaluating people. They talk with utmost certainty and know it all. They don’t operate solo and hide behind someone strong just in case they are called out. Their confidence is easily shaken.
8. The brash and brazen– They like to flaunt. Some are seasoned peacocks who do it subtly while some are too excited and find ways to talk about what they have. People often don’t like this behavior but they want to see what the noise is all about! They want you to notice them. They have the last word because of what they are flaunting. They at times will become authority on topics and mentor others without their consent.
9. The elusive and private– They hang out with people who look and talk like them. They feel uncomfortable and out of place in big groups so respectfully keep distance. They are cordial and friendly.
10. The online friends– People you have never met. They are strangers who love, support and understand you. Maybe it’s easier because they know so little about you and see what you show them. This relationship is based on mutual respect and understanding. It’s like a mirage where everything looks beautiful. Don’t get attached too soon. Likes, comments and DMs are addictive. It’s a give and take world.
Friends come in all shapes and sizes. A healthy mix of people makes socializing fun. Don’t judge a new friend too quickly. Friends should not compete. You can remind others in the group about a forgotten anniversary of a friend rather than wishing privately to earn brownie points. You can forgive and forget if a friend behaves a certain way. Sometimes you don’t know what she might be going through. A friend might not share years of history like others but she still should be given a chance to make new memories with you.
“People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did But people will never forget how you made them feel”- Maya Angelou
This post is a work of fiction just in case my friends are reading.
Your creative maniac friend,